Disclaimer - The G-Boys are not mine. Duh.
I'm in love; I'm a believer...
Heero's heart still hammered in his chest, making him feel like it would burst free from its cage. He felt Duo shivering beneath
him, and he knew that his lover was trying to fight back the tears and the screaming. Heero had had those nightmares.
“Are you lost?”
His grip was bone-crushing, but Duo's was just as harsh. They both needed grounding; they needed to know that they were alive
and that there was someone with them. Heero was there for Duo and he was willing to die to prove that Duo wasn't alone. Not
anymore. The scars of loneliness were still fresh, probably in both of their memories. Heero refused to give Duo the chance
to hurt himself again.
Duo's trembling finally slowed a bit, and Heero tried to loosen his grip. Duo kept him still, his body begging him to continue
the embrace. Heero found himself completely unable to resist.
"I'm so sorry," Duo whispered into Heero's chest. "I didn't want you to see my hell."
Heero could only shake his head. "I'm here for you, Duo. I'm not leaving you alone to your nightmares anymore." He lifted
his head to smile reassuringly at his lover. He looked Duo over. He was wearing the usual shirt and jeans. But...
He gently fingered Duo's chest. "You look... almost naked without your necklace on. During the war, I never saw you without
Duo cursed suddenly and flung himself up from the bed. Heero watched him in a bastard mix of disappointment and amusement.
"Shit. When I heard you that night, I raced out without putting it on. And what with being shocked to hell and back, I forgot
all about it..." Duo rambled a bit more as he struggled to stand against legs that refused to cooperate.
Heero, concerned, stood and scooped Duo up. He was much too light, he again noted. Duo needed some food in his stomach.
"Heero, what the fuck do you think you're doing?! Put me down!"
"No." He turned back to the bed.
"Dammit, Yuy, if you don't put me down right now -"
Heero dropped Duo onto the bed.
There was a squeak from the braided boy, then the moaning of springs trying to take in Duo's slight weight. "Yuy, you're going
to feel so much pain once I'm done with you!"
Heero merely laughed. "Where's your necklace, koi?" he asked, then stopped. Koi??? Where had that come from?
Duo blinked in confusion. "Koi? Is that like baka?? What is baka, anyway? Probably big, ugly, drooling idiot." He continued
rambling even as he pointed to a small chest on the far bureau. Heero went to it, still listening to Duo. "And I don't appreciate
all those things you said to me. I found out what 'omae o korosu' means. That's really rude. Was I the only one you ever said
that to?" Duo didn't give Heero time to answer. "And what was with the monosyllabic answers? Was your vocabulary not up to
snuff, or something? A man who knew everything about a computer like you should know more words than 'no' and 'shut up' and
all them. And what the hell was up with that 'hn' thing you always gave me? It was-"
"Got it." Heero turned to Duo again. "You don't need to be nervous, Duo. I'm not going to demand explanations for what occurred
back then. You should know me better than that. I don't pry."
"Hell, most the time you don't even realize," Duo grumbled.
"I always realized." He came up to the bed and moved in front of Duo, who was sitting Indian-style. He straddled Duo's legs,
practically sitting in the boy's lap. "Here." He bent forward, pushing away loose strands of chestnut hair to snap on the
necklace. He held the cross in the palm of his hand for a moment before letting it drop onto Duo's black shirt. This one had
writing on it as well. It said, 'I'm sorry. My fault. I forgot you were an idiot.'
Duo looked up at Heero and smiled shakily. "Th-Thanks, Heero." He moved under Heero slightly, and he was graced with the firm
pressure of Duo's erection against his own.
Heero groaned and leaned his head on Duo's, breathing deep.
Duo smirked at him. "What?" He cocked his head to the side and chuckled lightly. "Are you surprised? You shouldn't be."
"It's the middle of the day," he argued feebly.
Duo just laughed, wrapping his arms around Heero's waist. "So?"
And that sounded so nice, with his mind fuzzing dangerously and his ears ringing, that Heero hummed an agreement and gently
pushed Duo onto his back. "Duo," he murmured, "I think we should wait... our occupations are only the beginning of the list
of things we should..."
Duo smiled lightly. "Heero, if you can stand me not having a real job, I might be able to survive you having one that will
take you away from me."
He meant it jokingly, and Heero could see that he didn't really mean it. Give me more now, he seemed to be saying.
Before your gone and there's nothing left but ash.
"I'm not leaving you," he said fiercely, and he took Duo's mouth within his own. "I'm not going to leave you alone, koi. I'll
stay by your side forever." He felt Duo's heavy breathing against his lips, and he kissed Duo until they were left gasping
for breath. His hands slid to Duo's arms, thumbing lightly the scars that marred their surface. "I just need you to stay with
"Yes," Duo breathed, arching his back beneath Heero. Heero's skilled hands slid up Duo's shirt, and he felt Duo stiffen beneath
"Koi," he whispered, "Hitori ja nai."
Duo hummed something unintelligible and reached up to bring Heero's head down for another blood-boiling kiss.
Suddenly, Heero was shoved into Duo, crushing the boy. Above him came a bark, then a series of unmistakable pants.
"Hero!" Duo yelped, "get the hell off!"
The dog merely bent down to lick Heero's neck, and he laughed in surprise and happiness. He turned, causing Hero to fall off
the bed. It immediately brought its paws back on the bed, and Heero rubbed its head. Hero's tongue lolled out in doggie bliss.
Heero heard a disgusted sound from where Duo was perched. "You two are impossible."
Heero turned to him, a retort on the tip of his tongue, and froze. There was a kind, gentle expression on Duo's face that
showed Heero how much the braided boy cared for him. He felt a smile tug his face. "Just... what does that mean?" He heard
the breathy, husky voice and was partly surprised that it came from his own lips.
Duo's smile was radiant. "Did you know that that's the first time I ever heard you laugh like that? It wasn't crazed or infinitesimal.
It was... nice."
Heero had to think about it. "I didn't find many things funny back during the war."
Heero's smile widened a bit as he continued petting Hero. "And just when did you learn the word infinitesimal?"
Duo mocked indignation. "I, sir," he said, waving a hand dramatically to his chest, "am a very intellectual and brilliant
"Yes," Heero nodded, "you are."
Duo stared at him for a moment, having not expected that at all. "What?"
Heero just shook his head and stood. "Come on, get up. I'll fix some food."
Duo looked at the digital clock on the nightstand by the bed. "Um, Heero, it's, like, 2:00 in the freaking afternoon."
"How about that?" Heero agreed amicably, watching Hero for any sudden movement. Hell if he was going to be thrown to the ground
by a dog. "It won't be anything beautiful. A chef I am not."
"Trust me, I remember."
He turned to stick his tongue out at Duo, which, he assured himself, was completely justified, when the doorbell rang.
"Who the fuck?" Duo spoke, voicing Heero's exact thoughts. His mind was on alert, and he wished he had a gun. Duo seemed to
be a bit tense, too, to Heero's odd relief. But he still went to answer the door. Heero followed on his heels, ready to spring
into action if it was necessary.
Duo walked through the house, looking at the living room light that betrayed them with its luminescence. He then turned and
twisted the doorknob.
Quatre's eyes blinked up at them, his smile blossoming as he saw Heero behind Duo. Heero relaxed as he saw the easily recognizable
blonde as the one at the door. His eyes took in the silk shirt and trousers he wore, noting that the boy didn't really want
to wear the garments. It was evident by the way he fidgeted in the outfit.
"Hi, Duo!" Quatre beamed, as chipper as always. "I wanted to come see you before I had to go meet some businessmen. I'm sorry
it's so unannounced..." He checked his fancy Rolex. "It's almost 3:00." His open face puckered into a frown that showed his
frustration. "I've got to leave sooner than I thought."
Duo's brows furrowed. "What?" He raced upstairs, leaving Heero alone with Quatre. Heero watched him leave, wondering what
had caused Duo's hasty retreat.
"I'm glad you two finally got together," he said, smiling sweetly in his subtly expensive attire. Heero shifted his gaze back
to his friend. He found that he could easily call the other Gundam pilots friends, and was glad that that part of humanity
still lived in him, despite his training. "I actually came out here for a conference nearby. I told you about it."
Heero nodded silently, remembering Quatre saying something to that effect when he'd asked for Duo's whereabouts. He'd been
too busy thinking about Duo and that little diary to really pay attention.
"So, I decided to drop by." Heero started, having been so lost in his thoughts that he'd momentarily forgotten about Quatre.
It was amazing how he had managed to revert to a fairly normal person so quickly. He supposed it could be the loss of the
need for war, or maybe the loss of his machines. But he suspected that he'd always been alert... until he'd come to Duo. Then
it all didn't seem so important anymore.
Quatre cocked his head. "So? How'd it go?"
Heero heard the question and cringed. Damn Quatre's innocent curiosity. It really wasn't something he should talk about, especially
behind Duo's back. And besides, how was it going? He didn't know. He couldn't blame Duo for wanting to think things
out, for wanting them to not really get into a relationship. He could understand Duo's fear of the unknown, his uncertainty
that this was really happening. But it all made things very difficult, and impossible to explain.
Thankfully, Duo came racing down then, saving Heero from having to answer. A sheepish look was caught on the braided boy's
face. "Uh, you're right, Q-man." He turned to Heero. "Uhh ... I kinda sorta-lied about the time."
So that was what had happened. He had read the clock wrong when Hero had interrupted them earlier.
Heero smiled reassuringly at him. Duo was obviously embarrassed about the tiny mess up, and he looked supremely cute with
his blush. "That's okay, Duo." It took everything in him to not sweep Duo up and swing him around. He was just too damn alluring.
Heero looked at Quatre, trying to tell him without saying anything that their intimacy level was none of his damn business.
Quatre seemed to get the message, because he didn't ask again. Instead, he turned to Duo and smiled brightly.
"So, how are you doing?"
Duo snorted, shaking his head in mock exasperation. "He knows, Quatre. And I'm fine, just like the last time you asked."
Heero found that Quatre had been hinting about Duo's scars. Quatre had asked almost innocently, and he hadn't caught the subtle
innuendo. He supposed Quatre had always had that gift. He stared into Quatre's eyes, which had focused once again on his own.
"Does he, now?" Quatre murmured speculatively. Heero matched his look with his own possessive expression.
"I guess that answers my question for you," Duo said wryly, watching the exchange.
Quatre turned intense gaze away from Heero, who was disturbingly thankful. "What do you..." Quatre's eyes widened as he understood
just what had been implied in Duo's words. "Duo! You know I'd never tell anyone! You made me promise!" Quatre looked wholly
indignant. "Heero just said he wanted to see you. So, I told him where you lived."
Duo sniffed. "Sure." Quatre seemed to bristle, but his reaction was spiritedly ignored. Duo cocked his head to the side, his
braid swishing seductively against his thighs. "You want some food or something? I'm sure I could whip up something edible."
Heero smirked, trying to swallow down his lust. "I could argue."
Duo playfully swatted at him. "Hey, pal, you're supposed to be on my side!"
Heero slung an arm over Duo's shoulders and bent to lean on him a bit, both to play along and to ease his body's odd need
for him. "That better?"
Duo tensed for only a second before leaning on Heero, too. "Yeah." He lifted his eyes, and violet and cobalt clashed. Heero
saw as much need in Duo's amethyst orbs as he felt within himself. "Much."
And, with his usual timing, Hero came up, barking and jumping onto Duo. Duo turned and hugged both of his heroes at once,
getting a sloppy doggy kiss for his efforts. He laughed and looked back at Heero, who was watching them with a soft, sweet
look on his face. Heero felt so protective of them, yet so light and free. He couldn't hope to explain the emotions whirling
through him. Most of them were brand new. He felt possessiveness, protectiveness, care and need and love. But there were so
many others, too - a strange fire of warmth that laced him to Duo's every movement. It was like a part of him was linked to
his lover. All he knew was one thing: they were everything. And he was surprisingly okay with that. Even the fact that he'd
risk his life for a dog. Okay, maybe that disturbed him a bit, but other than that, he was at peace with the changes inside
him. Perhaps they weren't really changes as much as realizations.
He bent down and played with Hero's ears, making the dog pant in ecstasy. He felt Duo's eyes on him, and looked up. Duo seemed
to have the same feelings as he, for Heero knew that expression on his lover's face very well. It was what he felt whenever
he saw Duo smile or laugh or joke around. How had he never seen it before, during the war? How had he been oblivious to both
his own and Duo's wants? He'd been blind, and that tiny journal had helped him see.
He realized that he'd completely forgotten about Quatre and stood, still scratching Hero's head. Quatre was beaming at him
like he was a kid who'd gotten a difficult problem right. "I'm glad to see you two are getting to know one another. It's really
nice, especially after all of the things you two had to go through during the war."
Heero felt his face flush and concentrated fully on Hero's sensitive place behind his ears that made him pant and close his
eyes in pooch paradise. He wondered if he could get Duo into that flushed state by playing in the same spot. It was definitely
something to think about. He grinned wickedly at the visual that came with his mind's ponderings, then quickly hid it, lest
"Um, actually, I came over to see if the two of you would like to go out to dinner with Trowa and myself tomorrow."
Heero looked at Duo, pausing in his pleasuring of Hero, letting him know that the choice was Duo's to make. Duo sighed in
irritation, but smiled brilliantly at Quatre. "Sure, Qat. We'd love to."
Heero nodded, pleased. Duo had been willing to show their relationship with Quatre, but Heero knew he very well may not want
to show the world. He, himself, wasn't quite ready. He was still used to looking inconspicuous, and two gay men together stood
out like a blood-red rose in the middle of black roses. It was something from his training that would be hard to shake off.
Being watched made him nervous.
He could only wonder how Duo felt about it.
"Great!" Quatre's excited voice brought Heero once again out of his musings. "Does 7:00 sound good?"
"Sounds great, Qat." Duo answered almost tiredly. "Where is it?"
"It's an oldies restaurant, with oldies food mixed with our own that we eat now. I don't know why we ever switched from that
food," Quatre said, mostly to himself. He seemed to snap out of his daze and smiled. "We'll come to pick you guys up, or you
can just follow us in your car. Does that sound good?"
Heero decided to take over after seeing a flustered look on Duo's face. "Sure, Quatre, that sounds fine. Thank you."
Quatre took it for the dismissal it was. "Wonderful. I've got to go get ready for the meeting now. I'll have another, then
it's dinnertime. It was terrific to see the two of you again, Heero, Duo." He turned and prepared to go.
Quatre and Heero both turned to Duo, who had spoken Quatre's name quietly. He seemed unsure, and wouldn't even catch either
of their eyes. They instead focused on his feet, which had slipped into shoes earlier. "What is it, Duo?" Quatre asked compassionately.
Duo looked up with such a tentative face it made Heero's chest hurt.
"I... was wondering if I could... talk to you." He shot an apologetic look in Heero's general direction, but didn't make eye
contact. "Take a walk or something." He looked quickly back to Quatre.
Heero watched in worry. It seemed Duo had to reach into his little bowl of courage to get this out. He wanted to help, but
didn't know what to do. Helplessness was a feeling he wasn't used to, and he found out quickly that he didn't like it.
Quatre looked confused, but willing to help. "Of course, Duo." He turned to Heero, seeing that Duo wasn't going to make the
effort. "We'll be back soon, alright?"
Heero nodded dumbly, watching as they left out the door. The click of the doorknob sounded like the sound of a cell door slamming
shut. He had to squelch the urge to run after them and grab Duo, hugging him and demanding reasons for his sudden change.
What had just happened? His head still spun. What had he done?
He looked at Hero for help, but the dog was looking at the door like he'd been abandoned. Perhaps he had been. Perhaps they
had been. Heero moved to the window, the dog following dejectedly beside him. Heero noted almost unknowingly that Hero seemed
to be an echo of Duo's moods. They seemed close. He wished he could be that close to his koi.
Heero watched out, waiting for them, unconsciously caressing Hero. Where were they going? What were they talking about? Had
he done something to screw this up? But what? What had he done? Other than barging in and practically demanding a relationship.
Damn. He'd done this wrong. Duo was probably scared of him or frightened of what he'd done. He felt sick. Should he leave?
No, he couldn't. He couldn't leave Duo. Not after seeing him like this. Not after they'd joined like they had. If Duo told
him to leave, he would. But until then, he'd stay. He could do nothing else.
Hero whined, and Heero turned his head from the window to look at the golden retriever. "I know. I want him back, too." He
looked back to the window, vowing that he'd take things slow and do only as Duo wanted. He wouldn't force him. He'd do anything,
just as long as it meant they could stay together. He swore it.
He'd go one step at a time. Even if he had to go back to the beginning. Every step that brought him closer to Duo was one
worth taking, no matter how small. No matter what. Just give the chance back, Duo, and I'll prove just how much I love
you; just how much I need you.
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