Disclaimer - The Gundam pilots aren't mine. Duh.
This is a different kind of love song...
Duo's eyes glistened with tears. "You what?"
Heero couldn't remember having seen the boy cry before, but he knew, just like he knew he himself probably had, that he just
hadn't been there to see it.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I know, happy, bubbly Duo can't possibly be depressed. He can't possibly be feeling anything but goofy
happiness, because doesn't he always smile with that dumb expression on his face?
Heero mentally shook his head and stared at the again silent ex-pilot. Shit. What had he said? Something about not wanting
to be alone anymore. Oh, well. Just make say something, Yuy.
"Duo," he said slowly, "I don't want to have to keep going on without you. It... it's not as... peaceful... as I thought it
Duo smirked. "You thought it would be great to have some peace and quiet, to be able to hack at your computer for hours on
end and not have anyone bothering you."
"Yes," he replied honestly, and was devastated by the amount of hurt that flashed across Duo's face. "But I was wrong," he
continued swiftly. "Shit. I'm not doing this right, but I don't know how else to say it, Duo. I need to be with you. I..."
he almost said that he knew Duo wanted him, too, but that would've been a careless tactical error that could take away his
He shook his head. He'd almost made a Mistake. Duo was not something one could either win or lose. But he was something
that you could either keep close to you or let drift away. He'd let Duo drift away from him for far too long.
"You what, Heero?" Duo said quietly.
Heero looked into his sparkling violet orbs and tried a smile. "I want to be with you, Duo," he said honestly. "I don't know
why it took me so long to figure it out."
Something flashed within those wide violet eyes, but it flashed by too quickly for him to decipher it. "Why are you saying
these things?" And the tears finally fell. "Do you think it's funny?"
That was such a one-eighty that Heero was left floundering. "What?"
"Do you think that this is some sort of game? Who the hell told you? I don't think Quatre would have, and no one else knows.
Not that I know of. Who the hell told you that I tried to kill myself because I was devastated that you hated me so much?!"
Heero stood in shock. What? That was all he could think... What?
He stood stock still for so long he felt his muscles cramp. He shook his head, but couldn't stop the pounding in his ears
or the incessant hum of his madly beating heart. Duo had... what? He looked at the man he loved and saw a strange dawning
in his eyes. Duo seemed to have realized that Heero really hadn't known.
"Oh, God," Heero heard, but couldn't be sure that he hadn't said it.
Then he was up the stairs, holding Duo in a fierce embrace, tightening his hold when Duo would have wriggled away. He burrowed
his face into the boy's shoulder, though he had to bend over a bit to achieve it. The scent of Duo's cologne had his mind
go blank for a moment before he remembered just what he had heard. "You what?" he choked, and it sounded so helpless and feeble
that he abruptly stood and backed away. Duo faltered a bit, showing that he'd been ready to lean into Heero. Heero winced
when he realized it must've seemed like he hadn't wanted the contact. "Duo, are you serious? Did you really try to...?" He
remembered that one thing he'd read in Duo's journal.
If I had the courage, I would do it right now...
Heero shuddered as the memory shifted in his mind. A chill raced through him that had nothing to do with the slow breeze that
flowed around them both. Oh, hell. Duo...
Duo had, however, decided to clam up. It seemed he believed that he'd already said more than enough.
"Why?" And then Heero remembered that he'd already been told why. Because of him. Because Duo had thought that he hated him.
It was his fault.
Something heavy and painful lodged itself into his heart. His fault. Duo had... had done only God knows what to himself because
he had shoved him away. Because he had failed to understand him.
He realized he was breathing heavily and took a great effort to control himself. He looked again into Duo's eyes. "I think
we should talk inside."
Duo looked at him once, then again, before nodding tersely and opening the screen door, of which he held open for Heero. Heero
quickly walked through it before Duo could change his mind, then turned to face him. After Duo had locked the door, Heero
grabbed his shoulders and turned him so that they faced one another. He searched the boy's eyes for one more second before
crushing their mouths together.
Duo opened his in surprise, and Heero didn't wait to be asked. He slid his tongue inside Duo's wet mouth and tasted him for
the first time. He was masculine in every way Heero wasn't. Not pushy, but still confident. Not stoic, but still holding that
quiet aura of strength. Not cocky genius, but funny intellectual. They were the opposites that attracted. They were the proverbial
one plus one equals one thing.
They were perfect.
He didn't know who groaned, but suddenly Duo's head slid back, allowing Heero deeper access, and he groaned in satisfaction.
The sweet taste of Duo was bringing Heero's senses to a head. He found that their bodies were stuck together like two pieces
of Velcro. He felt Duo's nipples under his shirt, felt Duo's hard erection on his thighs. He moved across Duo, lining their
erections together until they were grinding into each other.
They both groaned then.
Heero couldn't think. His head was heady with thoughts of Duo under him, on the sheets, looking up at him with those amethyst
eyes as he took them up higher and higher. . .
He stopped abruptly, coming back to nibble on Duo's lips when a pathetic whimper rose out of the braided boy's mouth. He groaned
and grabbed Duo around the waist, holding the boy upright when he would have fallen from weak knees. They stayed that way
for a while, panting and gasping and unable to uncross their eyes. "Does that seem like... I don't like you?"
Shit. Perhaps it hadn't been smart to do that. But that mouth had been begging for a kiss since Duo had stepped onto the porch
and Heero hadn't been able to get that broad chest out of his mind and then... Duo had said that and... his control had snapped.
Duo mewed something unintelligible and Heero smiled. "I don't hate you," he whispered into the other's ear, and delighted
in the shiver that ran through Duo at the words' caress. "And I won't leave you again. Not even if you order me to."
Duo shook his head. "No," he managed, "I don't want you to..."
Relief flooded through him, and he didn't allow Duo to change his mind. If he had said that because he was still partly drugged
on Heero's kiss, Heero wasn't about to argue. "Discuss it more in the morning?"
Duo hummed a response and lightly sagged against Heero more. Heero knew he was falling asleep, and let him fall under, watching
with a small smile. His crystal eyes drooped, then finally closed, and his breathing evened out. Heero lovingly picked him
up and brought him into the bedroom at the end of the hall. He slowly opened the door and took a quick look around. The walls
were painted an eerie blue that unnerved him a bit, until he realized that the color was the same as his eyes. The comprehension
made him smile as he laid Duo down on the soft, black sheets and covered him with them. He stepped back and looked around
again, seeing a picture of Deathscythe on a wooden bureau on the far side of the room. Beside it was a picture of the Gundam
pilots from back during the war, in a newspaper clipping detailing what they looked like to citizens.
His mind now haunted, wondering just why Duo had kept that, he crept out of the room and walked back down the hall. He'd be
sleeping on the couch tonight. He thought about Duo's face when he'd come up for air just moments ago and barely managed to
stifle the groan. It was going to be a long night.
And indeed it was. Heero found himself tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable. He groaned, then tried to muffle it,
thinking of Duo upstairs.
He snorted. What else would he be thinking about? It certainly wasn't the discomfort of sleeping on the couch; he'd slept
in much more austere locations, described as disgusting as best and fucking-horrendously-like-a-sewer at worst. Hell, he thought
wryly, he *had* slept in a sewer once.
And since that brought up memories best left buried, he pushed it out of his mind.
He got up again, silently going out side for a minute. He had forgotten about Hero, he set about to barking immediately. Heero
winced and put a finger to his lips, but it did nothing to calm the animal. Heero had wanted only one thing: the journal.
He marched over to the dog and grabbed its muzzle shut. "If you wake up Duo, omae o koroso," he snarled, and shoved the dog
away. He knew he was being mean to the poor animal, but it had the dog's mouth trapped better than duct tape. It didn't even
Satisfied, he walked over to the car and unlocked it, digging under the driver's seat. He left the light on to read a bit
out here. Hell if he was gonna be caught with the thing. Talk about not getting off to a good start.
May 18, A.C. 195,
I'm hiding right now, avoiding OZ and generally the world at large. Hell if I'm gonna get into details. I don't have the time.
I have to stay on the run.
I just wanted to record a couple things really quick. One: I'm probably not going to survive this suicide mission. Heero
stopped and tried to figure out which mission this was, but couldn't, which meant that either only Quatre knew or everybody
was in the dark. He continued. This is completely insane, what I'm doing. About to go into an OZ base and get my brains
blown out. And why? Hell. To get rid of files the enemy has on 01.
Heero was shocked. When the fuck had they managed to get any information on him at all?
It seems they had taken classmates hostages and had managed to catch someone who had been really high on him. She told
them every nuisance of his appearance, and then everything she knew about his attitude and past. There wasn't much on his
past, thank God, but there was plenty on his personality. Apparently, he'd given a rather elaborate opening speech to the
class on wars and violence, and she'd just happened to record it. So they also have his voice.
I've been tortured by these bastards, and I've seen what they can do. I won't let that happen to Heero. It was a miracle that
he survived... that one time... I won't let him get hurt again, not if I could help it. I don't want to feel that pain again.
I don't want to lose him again...
Heero sighed and slowly shut the journal. He'd never get enough of this thing, he knew. If he could hear every single thought
that had ever passed through Duo's mind, he could never get bored.
And the fact that Duo had cared for him all that time, even when he'd been such an asshole and had treated him like the scum
from the bottom of the sewer he remembered once sleeping in, had him shivering. Or maybe that was the cold.
He decided to go the hell back into the house and... do something.
But once he'd safely hidden the journal again and locked his car tight, he turned to stare at Duo's golden retriever and walked
towards it, smiling gently. It was watching him warily and lying on the ground, face on his paws, staring up in that funny
way that dogs could. He stretched out a hand for the dog to sniff, and he slowly came forward. Patient, he waited until the
dog started wagging its tail before petting it.
He played with it then, rolling around on the ground and forgetting that it was early morning. He wrestled with it and got
pinned to the ground, where the dog promptly started licking his face, tail thumping against his thigh as it swung back and
forth. He laughed and rubbed behind its ears, trying to get into a sitting position and failing miserably. He ended up trying
to cover his face to stop it from smelling too much like dog breath. Hero left him for a minute, and he took the time to take
a breather. He felt a small object hit his stomach and cautiously peeked out from under his arms to see a tennis ball lying
on him, dog slobber getting into his shirt.
So he got up and played with the dog some more.
He didn't notice how long he'd been playing until he realized that the sun was all the way up. He smiled at the glory of it
and bent to hug the dog as it came back to him with the messy tennis ball. The dog suddenly dropped the ball and barked loudly,
its tail wagging double-time, and it turned. Heero knew without looking what was beside him, but stood anyway and turned.
"Good morning, Duo."
Duo looked a mess, his braid mussed up and his jeans wrinkled. His chest, though, was still wonderfully naked and his droopy
violet eyes were gorgeous in the morning light. How had he gone without this for so long?
Duo grunted in reply. "You both can come in," he yawned, leading the way inside, almost falling from Hero's excited barks
and tumbling feet. Heero himself wasn't so far behind.
Duo, it seemed, had been up just long enough to start breakfast. Bacon was on the stove and eggs were sizzling right beside
"I though you couldn't cook?" Heero said in remembrance, and won a tired chuckle.
"I can't," Duo answered honestly. "But at least my bacon and eggs are edible."
Heero smiled softly and nodded; Duo turned his head and took a big whiff. A smile bloomed across his face, making Heero's
heart flutter. "You can wash your face in the bathroom right there," Duo pointed, and Heero went inside, grateful. By the
way he smelled, it was a wonder Duo could breathe near him without thinking him a werewolf.
He came out, having also tended to his bladder, and helped Duo finish up cooking breakfast. He set the table for them and
finished scrambling the eggs so that Duo could focus on draining the fat from the bacon. They walked around each other in
silence, which somehow surprised Heero. Duo had always been a chatterbox when he'd been around. Why was he so quiet now?
They both placed the food on the table and sat down. Heero tried to not be so shocked that Duo didn't say grace. Just because
he wore a priest's outfit didn't mean he was too religious. After all, didn't he always used to wear that stupid smile?
And it was then that Heero noticed that Duo was not smiling.
"Duo?" he prompted, and gained a little sigh.
"Heero..." he started, and looked down to study his hands. "Why did you... stay? Why'd you even come back?" He glanced up
through his bangs. "I... think we need to have that talk."
Heero nodded and braced himself, getting ready to say words that he didn't know how to say. Words he thought he never would
And prayed that Duo might believe them.
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