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Disclaimer - Gundam Wing does not belong to me. Dumbass.
Maybe I should have called you first, but I was dying to get to you...
The plane was about ready to land. Heero looked down at the journal, which he hadn't dared open since the last paragraph he'd
read. His eyes hooded, he looked down the aisle and for once wished he'd taken the window seat. Screw old-time battle instincts;
he needed some time to just stop thinking. Because all of his thoughts rounded straight back to Duo...
He shook his head and sighed heavily, then caught himself and frowned. He never sighed. He never wanted the window seat. He
never let himself...
Sitting bolt upright, he tried to ignore the flashes of... of whatever they were, but it didn't work. He imagined his tongue
entering Duo's mouth, tried to imagine the taste that would be Duo's and Duo's alone. He imagined Duo's moan, his body molding
against him, flattening, melting into him. Imagined himself grinding his hard erection on Duo's and...
Shit, he was hot. And hard. He desperately swallowed the groan that welled up in his chest. Oh, God. Duo. That fantasy was
going to haunt his dreams, he just knew it. Shit. His pulse was pounding, his breaths ragged. He needed release.
He got ready to go to the bathroom when the light ding sounded for an announcement. "Everyone please buckle your seats and
prepare for landing. Anyone who is using the restroom facilities please evacuate immediately. We will be landing..."
Heero did groan then, and the woman looked at him in sympathy. "Do you have to go, dear?"
He locked his teeth together as he slid back into the seat. "You have no idea," he growled, and she laughed. He moved to put
the seat belt on, and the friction of his jeans on his erection made him have to bite his lip to keep from moaning his release
right there. Shit. This was bad.
He somehow managed to get hooked, and found himself with a piece of fabric firm against himself. "Shit."
She giggled again. "At least they have restrooms at the airport, close to the terminals."
Heero feared he wouldn't make it. Or, perhaps, he would make it, and everyone would know what he was doing. Oh, shit. He leaned
his head back, body tense. Shit, shit, shit.
The journal felt with a slap onto the floor.
Without even thinking, he snapped up and grabbed it, holding it close to his chest. He breathed the smell of Duo, which both
excited and calmed him. He looked at the journal, keeping it away from his face, and felt it beckon to him.
He opened it.
What lay before him was the middle of a journal entry, a helluva long one at that. His eyes moved of their own accord. ...said
he was dead. Oh, God. He's dead. He fucking blew himself up. The words were scribbled down hastily, as if he wanted to
write everything down quickly. As if he wanted to get it all out before it tore his system apart. I was there. I could've
stopped him. I could've done something. But he's dead now. Oh, God. I'll never see those eyes again, that hair, not
even that obnoxious glare of his... There was something more there, but it had been smudged by... water. A tear? Had Duo
been crying? He read that piece of the passage over again, and knew when it had taken place without even searching for the
date. It was a bit after he had pressed the self-destruct button. After the colonies were targeted.
Heero's brows drew together, and he felt his erection finally start to give him a tiny bit of breathing room. He refused to
think about it much, for he knew he'd go back to the fantasy. Shit. Journal. Read the damn journal, Yuy, he told himself firmly.
I don't know what to do. I'm stuck here with Quatre, playing hide-and-seek with OZ. I want to fight for him, whether it's
suicide or not. He took every singly mission. He gave the ultimate finger to OZ. And what had I done? Watched. I just fucking
sat there. Oh, God. Heero. Heero, Heero. I can't believe you're gone. You were invincible. Untouchable. You didn't have to
do that. Why did you do this to me, Heero?! How could you?!
<<<<<*>>>>>
Heero stepped off of the plane, numb. He hadn't seen anything wrong with his actions when he had done them, but now it had
seemed fairly rash. But, he knew, he would do it again. He'd just had no clue of how it would hurt Duo.
Shit. He hadn't been thinking about Duo. He'd just followed the mission. He'd done as he was ordered. Was he just a machine?
How could he love Duo, if he only paid attention to the mission?
He shook his head and headed for the bathroom. It would be expected, after all. The woman would-
He realized he was thinking in war-time thought, and forced himself to stop. He would go to the bathroom, then rent a car.
He didn't know how to love Duo. All he knew was that he did love Duo. They could go from there. Yes. One step at a
time. He counted the steps to the bathroom, taking his new resolve a bit too seriously, but refusing to change it. He'd count
every step he made if it would get him to Duo.
<<<<<*>>>>>
He sat within the car and glared at the stoplight. Damn these things anyway. So what if they stopped accidents. They also
constantly stopped him. And that just pissed him off.
The thing changed to green, and he nodded. Damn straight. Nothing survives under my gaze.
Except that Duo had. Duo had seemed oblivious to it. That had been the first thing he noticed about the guy, other than the
braid. He'd dared to call it ponytail once and had been answered with a gun to his throat before even he could register
it. That had made him think twice about both the word and the man.
Heero glanced at the place below his seat for a second, knowing that the journal was under there. He hadn't read it. He didn't
want to. He was afraid that he would open up to that page again and see the proof of Duo's vulnerability. The signs that made
him feel like he should be hog tied and roasted on a stick. For he had caused that pain. And that in turn brought him to his
knees.
"I'm sorry, Duo," he whispered, turning into a fast food restaurant to pass a light without actually having to go under
it. "I'm so sorry." He didn't know what else to say, even to himself. He couldn't say that he wouldn't do it again if given
the chance, because he would. What he had done had made the colonies hesitate, if only for a little while. And he couldn't
say that he hadn't meant to, because that was just absurd. He rolled his shoulders uneasily. And he had no clue of what he
was going to say when he met his braided crush.
He wasn't ready.
A strange panic went through him, and he picked up the speed a bit. If he was afraid, he'd just have to face the fear.
He was going straight to Duo.
<<<<<*>>>>>
"Stand your ground, Yuy," he told himself, looking up from Quatre's directions to the house in front of him. He could see
it clearly even though it was night.
He was in there. He didn't need the car in the driveway to know that he was in there. He could feel it in his gut. Heero surveyed
the structure. It seemed to be one-story, and from the looks of it, the living room was in the front. It was a rancher, with
hardly any yard and... a dog. It was the cutest creature he had ever seen. It was a golden retriever, and looked about one
or two in age. It looked at him and seemed to smile. It was suspiciously silent.
Heero again looked out at the house. He had thought that Duo was working with Hilde in a salvage yard on L2, but he had come
back to earth after a fight with said woman. Quatre hadn't given him the details, and he felt it wasn't in his right to ask.
It was Duo's business, and Duo should be the one to tell him.
He took a step closer to the door, then another. Three, four... he stopped counting with a jolt as the dog began barking up
a storm. It strained on its leash and yapped for all it was worth. Obviously, Duo had taught the thing to only bark if someone
came onto their territory.
And then the door opened, and Heero's breath froze. Duo had come out with only jeans on, his hair still up in that ever-present
braid. It slid over his shoulder and loose strands curled around his breast, with was finely toned and hard as a rock. His
nipples were erect in the cold night air, and his hair shone in the moonlight. His violet eyes caught on the figure of him
standing there and froze.
Heero fell entranced by those eyes. He had always tried to not look into them during the war; they were just so beautiful
and rapturing. He couldn't stop himself. Any part of himself.
It came as no surprise when he felt the force of his needs.
Duo kept staring at him for a long time before saying only, "Heero." When Heero nodded, he again stopped and stared. Heero
was dying to know what Duo was thinking. He was shocked, that was for certain. Was it a good shock, or a bad one? Heero took
a step forward, and the dog began barking again. A light came on from the neighbor's house.
"H-Hero, shut up."
The dog quieted immediately.
Heero looked at the dog now in a different light. Duo had named it Hero. Or was it Heero? Was it named after him?
He took another cautious step forward, but Duo's dog didn't utter another sound. He trained his eyes on the frozen Duo and
made his way to the porch. From there he gazed into Duo's eyes, which were in turn locked on his. "Duo, I-"
"Heero," he said, and his eyes were now both sad and guarded. "I don't want to fight anymore. Take whatever suicide mission
you're on now and shove it."
Heero visibly flinched. Yes, it was true. Heero would sometimes go to Duo and ask for help with Preventer's missions, usually
ones that either had a helluva lot of hacking or... or one that needed him as a hooker. Duo had taken the hooker one just
two weeks after the war ended, which was three days after the end of a hacking mission. He had run off to Hilde then. Heero
hadn't seen him since.
"I'm sorry I made you do that, Duo."
Duo's eyes widened then, and Heero could read the emotions. Disbelief, acceptance, and... and a strange sort of hope.
"But it had been necessary for the peace."
Where the fuck had ,i>that come from?! Shit! He saw Duo's eyes show a sting, a sort of undeniable hurt, and then were
blank. Heero had never seen them that way before. In no time at all, though, they showed that stupid grin and his mouth quirked
sideways. "Yeah, it would've been hilarious seeing you trying to shoot someone with some clingy lingerie, though, Hee-chan."
Duo always said that name to aggravate him, but it did just the opposite, which is why Duo thought it never worked. Heero
couldn't help but think of it as some sort of endearment, and he loved it.
And the thought of Duo in clingy lingerie was enough to have his mind reeling. Which was why Heero refused to look at Duo
that one mission. Seeing him in hooker's clothes for even a nanosecond would have fueled his dreams for a millennium, and
his not-too-wild imagination was already painting in some very vivid pictures, thanks so much.
Duo cleared his throat, and Heero realized that he'd been silent since Duo made that sarcastic comment.
"Look, Duo," he sighed, "we need to talk."
Duo's eyes widened a hair's breath. "A-About what?"
Heero focused his attention on reading the boy's eyes, and saw a sense of fear and foreboding within them. That confused him.
Was it something he said? He tried again. "About... things." He looked around. "I don't want to discuss it out here."
That somehow worried the braided teen more. "Discuss what, Heero? Gimme something vague," he added when Heero gave him a pointed
look.
"You."
Heero could see the boy's skin crawl, and wondered over it. Then, "did you speak with Quatre?"
Heero nodded. "How else would I get your address?"
"Hack," Duo said immediately, making Heero frown.
"I wouldn't hack into your private files."
Duo barked a sharp laugh at that. "Not even if I were a threat to the whole Earth Sphere?"
"No," Heero said, surprising himself. He was amazed enough that he had said it, but stunned even more with the fact that he
meant it. It was a daunting concept.
Duo gazed deeply into his eyes then, and Heero saw him flounder. "So, you wanted to talk to me before you hooked up with Quatre?"
Heero nodded.
"About what?" Then he caught himself and grinned. "Sorry." Then his grin disappeared again. "Was it just to apologize?"
"No." Heero realized that he was being short with Duo and sighed. "But I also wanted to do that."
"Uh-huh." Duo peered at him again. "Is it important?"
"Yes," he answered immediately. "I can't wait any longer."
"Oh?" Duo leaned against the porch railing, quirking an eyebrow at Heero. What a sight he made, him leaning provocatively
on the bars as his muscles rippled over a smooth expanse of slightly tanned skin. Heero found himself staring and looked away,
feeling a familiar discomfort. "And what might that be?"
What might what be?
Heero mentally hit himself. He was acting like a rookie on the battle field. Shit, he was a rookie on this particular ground.
Was he really ready for this? Oh, hell. He looked around, seeing that the light from the neighbor's was off. That didn't mean
that they were asleep, but it was more possible than if they still had that godforsaken light on. He turned back to Duo. "I
don't know how to say this."
That seemed to snap Duo out of his cocky reverie. He straightened from his spot on the railing and stared down at him. "Heero?"
He again sighed agitatedly, running a hand through his unruly bangs. "I... I don't want to leave you." He shot a quick glance
at Duo's flabbergasted face before continuing. "I didn't know what to think of you during the war. You were always goofing
off or smiling or generally being anything but the warrior that Doctor J always described to me. I couldn't understand how
you had become a Gundam pilot. I thought you were weak and helpless. And so I was rude to you. I'm sorry." He blew out a breath,
but continued before Duo could say anything. "I ignored you and yelled at you and teased you mercilessly. And then, after
the war, I realized that I couldn't stand not having you talking as I worked, or joking around as I ate, or picking
intellectual fights with me. I... I missed you. I don't want to be away from you."
Duo made a small squeak, but Heero stopped him from speaking again. He had to get it all out now, dammit. Or he wouldn't ever
be able to. "Then I saw you again during that Maremaia incident and... I was so... calm. Peaceful." He blew out another breath.
"I was happy. And then I was left alone again." He shuddered in remembered pain. "I don't want to go through that again, Duo.
I don't think I can." For the first time since he started, he made himself really look at Duo. He was stock still and looked
like he'd been frozen in place. He didn't even seem to be breathing. Then a look passed over his face that made Heero want
to cry out.
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