The next three days were spent training with Baham until eleven, then eating, then spending the rest of the day in the Pyxis. She learned about the Eridanus, which cloaked the castle to look like a part of the forest, and the Pictor, which held the main controls for all of the weapons, including the Mairan, a beam powerful enough to destroy the entire world. She stayed far away from the Pictor.

She learned to navigate through the halls of the Puppis after wandering around a couple of hours to learn the corridors. The doors she'd passed the first time she'd accompanied Baham remained untouched, though she now knew that they held weapons and alternate energy sources for the weapons. She found out that all of the weapons had cores that regulated their energy so that they could be ready at a moment's notice. She stayed away from those rooms, as well, since Nash had told her that the only ones who could safely get near the cores without being harmed by radiation were wearers of the armor.

She knew he meant “those like us”.

Every day that passed also brought long nights with little rest. She worked herself to exhaustion each night, but could never stay asleep long. She dreamt often about Saiph and Alphard, and ended up awake and sweating, staring at the ceiling as she forced away memories.

The fifth day after the absence of Saiph and his team began the same. She awoke before Baham came now and met him at the entrance to the Pyxis, as usual. She followed him back and once again began training with him.

The first two days had been blocking and basic defense. The other two days had been punches. She had held her fist and arm correctly, but had apparently been using only one third of the strength she could have. Baham had patiently retrained her until she would punch correctly in her sleep. That morning was the first day of kicking. This, Baham told her, she was better at.

“You have good balance,” he told her shortly, “but you again lack discipline.”

Basically, she had learned, that meant that she was doing it wrong. Or at least not right enough.

Baham fixed her stance often, touching her leg and gently pulling it into the correct position. She had accustomed herself to his touches, since they were completely utilitarian, but she had freaked the first few times. There had been a scene that had ended up with her sprawled on her ass and Baham calmly telling her that she was acting foolish.

Ara had wanted to tell him to stick it up his ass, but she hadn't, and had eventually forced herself not to flinch away, even when he touched her legs. Now, she found her balance being tested as Baham twisted her leg uncomfortably. She was told in three words that this will give more power to the kick, and when she tried it, she felt the strength surge through.

Even though it had happened before with her punches, it still took her by surprise. There was a lot of power here that she hadn't known. And Baham often said that she was merely getting the basics, not the intense, rigorous training that would provide true power and control. She didn't want to imagine how rigorous the real training was, since she was getting accustomed to waking up in pain every morning. In fact, she often thought, she really didn't want to know.

Her training was interrupted about halfway through due to Nash's excited entrance. “They're back, Ara!”

She turned immediately, forgetting her lesson with Baham. Thankfully, Baham merely stopped the exercise and watched as she ran out of the room and down the hall, screeching in her sneakers as she hurried behind Nash to the Pyxis. Her clothes had been changed into jeans with a cut through the top of one leg (showing nothing but upper thigh, since she had decided to wash her underwear with the shirt and jeans she'd worn) and a shirt with a rip that showed off the top of her bra and another cut along the back that had almost torn the shirt in two. She was also anxious for new clothes, but she would hardly be upset if there were none, if only Saiph was okay.

They made it to the Pyxis without incident to see the entire crew already inside. She immediately caught sight of Saiph, still in his armor, surrounded by the others. Feb clutched his right arm and stared up at him with adoring eyes while Regulus rolled his own. Saiph, who had been talking to Feb, turned his head at the sound of footsteps approaching and locked eyes with Ara. She stared right back, falling into his gaze instantly. Her heart soared.

Then he was moving, breaking away from those around him and coming toward her. She watched him speechlessly as he drew nearer, stopping only a hand's length away from her. “Hi.”

Just that one simple word and her breath stopped. She smiled, a wide one that hadn't touched her lips in five days. “Welcome back,” she told him.

Then she saw Feb coming forward and managed to look away from Saiph for the first time since she entered the room. Feb had left her alone these past few days. That wasn't going to continue, she knew. Feb would be furious at her for taking Saiph's attention.

Saiph turned and saw Feb coming as well and said, “I got a lot of things in a few different sizes, since I didn't know what fit.”

It took a full minute for Ara to understand what he was talking about, but then she smiled. Saiph had remembered to get clothes for her, and had brought it up specifically to make Feb think that that was what they were talking about.

“Thank you,” she said, for both reasons.

Saiph nodded, but the movement brought his eyes downward, and they latched onto her chest. She knew that she was very exposed, which she couldn't rightly help. His eyes fell to the long gash on her upper thigh and she thought she heard him groan a bit. It was then that she wondered if he had been injured.

“Did you get hu... find anyone?” she asked him. She didn't know which answer she wanted. A yes and that the enemy hadn't posed a threat at all, or a no and that he hadn't been in any danger to begin with.

Saiph's eyebrow rose, and she flushed. He knew exactly what she had been about to ask, apparently. “Yes to the outright question, no to the underlying one. We met up with Nihal and Alya, but we managed to get away.”

She knew the names now, so she only nodded. Nihal was a small guy who wielded a rapier, and Alya was a woman with two short daggers. They were said to be the weakest of the enemies. Still, it was worrisome. Saiph had gone out looking to see if there were enemies nearby, and there were. Did that mean that they knew where Argo was? Would there be a battle here?

Baham came forward. “The three of you need to get cleaned up,” he told them, then grabbed Ara to get her out of their way. She watched as the three trooped off to their respective quarters, only then noticing Deneb and his ice-blue armor that covered his entire chest and stomach, plus the long pieces that clasped the hands up to the top of the biceps and the feet up to the bottom of the thighs.

She swore to go and apologize to him as soon as he was clean. And in front of everyone. Humiliating, but necessary. She had to show that she was sorry. Her words had been horribly cruel.

She tried to look up more information on Nihal and Alya while they were freshening up. Nash had left to take her clothes to her room (despite her proclamations that she had two hands of her own) and Baham was going back to the exercise room to do his own quick training. Feb had left for her room, probably to make herself exceptionally gorgeous for Saiph.

Ara wondered if Saiph liked that or not.

She shook such thoughts out of her head and returned to the Reticulum - Ara called it the Ret because it worked just like a database or Internet - for Alya and Nihal.

She found some information that she cataloged immediately.

The first was their 'years'. It wasn't 'years', more like 'time' - that is to say, Alya was 457 years old and Nihal was 220. Then there was a number for 'age' - 24 for Alya and 18 for Nihal. Then the information said that Nihal commanded the Lepus armor and Alya commanded the Serpens armor. Then it said that Nihal was under the shadow of a horse, and Alya under the shadow of a rooster.

What did all of it mean? Ara stared at the screen as if answers would magically appear. When they did not, Ara logged off of the Reticulum and stood.

She needed to sit and think.

Feb came into the room and yelled at her to hurry up. Ara nodded and came up beside Feb, having no choice since the woman refused to move until they were next to each other. Feb took the chance to glare at Ara at point blank range, then to start muttering threats to her. Ara heard distinctly “stay away from Saiph, or I'll make you eat your innards” before she managed to tune Feb out.

Instead, she thought on what she had just found out. Humans, and probably no other living being, thought of both an age and - what was it called? - 'Years' - as anything different. Unless it was supposed to represent how old they would be thought to be on earth. But why would they need that information? They're staying far away from humans, and how would they know that, anyway? Why would it be in their database? What did it all mean?

She struggled with her alien theory. Would aliens care about that? If so, why wasn't it labeled as 'Earth Years' instead of 'Age'? What was the difference?

She thought again of the word Fallen, then the Age and Years written down. Her heart practically stopped.

Were they vampires?

Fallen. How much more Fallen could you get? Yet, they walked in daylight and had yet to suck her blood or show off any fangs. And Saiph's skin was warm. Vampires were supposed to be cold.

But what else had both years and ages like that? Werewolves? Were they werewolves? But Nash had said that they were here to protect humans, and that they were worth fighting for.

Ara felt the beginning of a headache start between her eyes. It was a long, deep throb.

“Are you listening to me, slut?” Feb hissed.

Ara tried to shake off her thoughts and turned to Feb, who was leading them to the cafeteria. Ara wondered if Saiph would be in there. “Yes,” Ara answered distractedly, and was saved from a scathing retort by Deneb.

He walked up slowly, watching her carefully. Ara bit her lip. She had sworn to herself that she would apologize to him in front of the others. Only Feb was around right now.

“Ara,” Deneb called, and Feb stopped her mumbled threats. Both turned to him completely.

Ara took a deep breath. “Deneb, I'm sorr-”

“Ara, I've been ordered to relieve you of your memories, and then to return you to your home.”

She stopped short. “I-what?”

Feb seemed to snicker from behind her.

“I have orders to-”

“I heard you,” Ara snapped. “I don't... understand. Why?”

“There are fears that you know too much.”

She felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. “Are you kidding me? I don't know a damn thing!” Or at least, she thought to herself, not enough.

Deneb bit his lip, and Ara was oddly glad that she wasn't the only one with that habit. “Then...” Deneb looked at her. “Will you allow me to ascertain that for myself?”

She immediately understood what he meant. He was asking for permission to check her mind. A frightening thought. What would he see? What would he find out? Would he check around for more than what she wanted him to? Allowing someone access to her thoughts...

As if already inside her mind, Deneb said, “I can just ask you a question and see what comes to your mind when I ask it. If you allow me inside, I'll be able to see your thoughts on these matters. I'll leave after I ask the questions.”

“How can I be so sure of that?”

Deneb flinched, but nodded. “You will feel my presence, and you will feel when I leave - or if I don't leave.”

She frowned. That meant that the ability was almost useless against opponents. Was that really how it worked? How could she be sure? How could she trust him?

Then again, she realized, she didn't truly have a choice. She had been trying to figure out what was happening here, but she hadn't really figured it out ... yet. Unless they really were vampires.

Feb was telling Deneb to just kick her out when Ara spoke. “All right.”

Deneb looked a bit surprised. Ara merely nodded. Deneb's face broke into a wan little smile, and Ara knew that he forgave her. Just to be sure... “Deneb, I'm really sorry about-”

“I understand. It is the normal reaction. Actually, it's how Saiph first reacted when we first met.”

“Oh?” Deneb pulled Ara towards her room, leaving Feb to go into the cafeteria alone. Ara felt a perverse pleasure in leaving the woman alone... then felt bad about it. Not about her being alone – about being pleased with her being alone. Ara tried to figure that one out, then decided that it was far too complicated and twisted for her to ever be able to fully understand and dropped it.

Ara was shown into her own room, then stood in the middle of it like a fool and watched as Deneb locked her inside. A slight chill rose up in her – was she crazy? She was trapped in here now, and she was the farthest distance from the cafeteria, where everyone else was. Deneb could do anything he wanted to her after he put her into this trance, and she'd be completely powerless to stop him. She wasn't going to let him do this, was she? And what if Deneb was going to make her forget despite how innocent and sincere he had sounded? What if he found it a threat – her trying to figure out everything that had been happening? What if they were vampires? What the hell would she do then?

She wanted to run screaming from the room.

Deneb turned to her and read her fear. His eyes saddened. “All of them had to come to me. I had to read their minds and see their pasts, their reasons for joining... other things.” Things, of course, that Ara couldn't know. Damn it! “Saiph... wasn't happy that I was... searching through his mind. But he was the strongest-willed... the...” Deneb trailed off. So... another thing she couldn't know. How many was that now? She had stopped counting. “And he became leader.” Deneb shrugged and stepped towards her tentatively. She wondered if he'd already read her mind and seen her urge to run away, or if it were just blatantly obvious all over her face.

“Set the bags on the floor and sit on the bed, please,” Deneb instructed quietly.

Ara turned and saw the bags of clothes Saiph had gotten her sitting idly on her bed for the first time then. She gingerly picked them up and placed them on the bureau, then sat on her bed. She saw Deneb looking over at the clothes with a thoughtful expression. She blushed. This guy may be quiet, but just like Baham, he noticed things. Thankfully, he didn't bring up the fact that she wouldn't even dream of putting those clothes on the floor and turned back to her.

And she was back around to the fear.

Deneb saw the fear, she knew it, because his eyes got even sadder. How can he do that? He was scaring her shitless, but she wanted to comfort him. That was another of those 'best-not-to-analyze' situations.

“Please don't be afraid,” he murmured. “It doesn't hurt.”

Ara suppressed a snort. She thought she was getting fairly good at suppressing things. Pain wasn't the main thing that she was afraid of. She was afraid of getting caught thinking about what they were. What if she was on to something? What if she wasn't and Deneb was afraid that she was a threat anyway? They would erase her memory. She would forget everything she had learned. How much? How much would she forget? Would she forget... Saiph?

No. Nonononono... please, no...

Night. Rigel. She hadn't been able to forget that incident... something that scarred her to the bone... Saiph was to the bone, too... could she forget him? She didn't want to know. She didn't want to find out.

She warily sat down. She had committed herself to this. She had allowed him to do this. She'd accepted it. Now she would have to just suck it up and deal with the consequences of her actions and pray to all that was holy that she wouldn't lose everything that she had gained recently. Hope to God that she didn't lose...

...Saiph.

Ara saw Deneb close his eyes and wrinkle his brow for a second, as if he were thinking hard about something. Then he began to glow. Ara shielded her eyes and watched in fascination as Deneb's clothes... disappeared... and his body was encased in this bright, ethereal blue light. The bangs of his light brown hair danced in a wind as warm as a summer's day. His face leaned up towards heaven, his feet lifted off the ground...

...And then he slowly inched back to the floor, now encased in that ice-blue armor of his, and looked at her. She knew she was staring in wonder, but she couldn't help it. It had been... magical. Miraculous. Less vampiristic and more... divine. Maybe they were aliens.

“Are you ready?” he asked her, and she managed not to gulp or stumble or run screaming out of the room. Instead, she gave him a tight nod and squeezed her eyes shut. Her entire body tensed.

She felt that warmth again, like when she was healed, only this time it centered on her head, within her skull. And then she was seeing things behind her closed eyes, like a movie reel.

There was Saiph, fighting with Alphard, and now she could recognize a few of the attacks Saiph used – had he taken some sort of training from Baham, or had they all been taught equally? And she saw herself call out to Alphard, saw herself try to get away from him... saw Saiph come after her...

Things spun quickly through her mind, and she saw the things Deneb was searching for... when she'd heard Feb call out, “you don't belong with the Fallen! No human does!” Her confusion was felt once again, her curiosity... then Deneb came across what she feared he would find... her examination of what these people she was staying with could possibly be if they weren't human. He searched through her processes, saw when she labeled them aliens. Traveled through her days without Saiph around... stopped for a few moments on that first night, when she lay thinking about Saiph and praying for his safety, only falling asleep when she became too exhausted to continue maintaining that level of fear. Then he found her recent conclusion – that they could very well be vampires. She thought she heard something then, but it was from far away and she couldn't quite make it out. After a few more moments, the warmth receded until it was completely gone. She opened her eyes and hugged herself. She was suddenly very, very cold.

Deneb stood before her, stunned. A little... scared?

“Deneb? Deneb, what's wrong?” She tried to pull herself up, but found that she was, for some reason or another, terribly weak. She managed to keep herself sitting up through sheer strength of will. “Deneb!”

Deneb snapped suddenly, then stared at her. “I don't... know what to do,” he whispered. “I need to get Saiph in here.”

Oh, that's just what she wanted. Saiph to be taken out of the room where everyone would know what was going on and Feb would get pissed and Saiph... would see her hardly able to hold herself up. Then for him to watch as she forgot who he was and how much he meant to her...

She nodded and watched Deneb leave the room hurriedly. Only then did she let the tears in her eyes fall.

Dammit! She was doomed to lose even this feeling... this love... which had become everything to her... she had lost her cat and her brother then... and then she had lost everything in her life that she had ever known... and now...

She thoughtlessly fell on her side on the bed and grabbed her pillow and just sobbed for a short minute. Then came the realization that she would not be alone for long and she stuffed the tears back in their box and tried to wipe her eyes clean. She never cried prettily like some girls did; she was cursed to look ugly and stupid, her eyes red and puffy and her entire face both unnaturally flushed and even more unnaturally pale. She was... tired. So very tired and she wanted to just sleep and escape. If she awoke in the middle of the night without her memories... at least she wouldn't have to be conscious during the loss. At least she wouldn't have to deal with that.

There was a knock on her door then, a warning. She turned her pillow upside-down so as not to show off the tear marks and cleared her throat. She was proud of how strong and steady her voice was when she called for them to come in.

Saiph entered first, and his astute blue eyes looked at her face. She flushed; that look told her that he knew she had been crying. Deneb came in afterwards, wringing his hands slightly and looking terribly upset. There was that urge to comfort again... the guy was just too kind-looking to be hated. And she saw that sadness grow as he got a good look at her, as well. She wondered how horribly she looked, or if there really was some damn neon sign that flashed a little notice about what she was feeling.

“So what's going on?” Though Saiph looked at her, there was no doubt that he was speaking to Deneb. She looked at the floor and just let this catastrophe go the way it would. She didn't know what to do anymore. To fight this... what would be the point? They would keep bringing it up over and over until they just forced the mind-reading on her. Best to just get it all over with, right? Before she got too used to feeling this way about Saiph...

...Too bad it was already too late for that.

“She...” Deneb stopped for a moment, and she imagined him flicking his glance to her, those eyes still sad and those hands still wringing slightly. “She has begun... contemplating.”

She felt the sudden tension press around her until she wondered if it were a tangible thing. “Then you know what must be done.”

She clenched her eyes shut and tensed. Saiph... why did it hurt even more to actually hear him say it? It was like a betrayal... but he had never really been on her side to begin with, had he? She was only a civilian to him, after all. Someone who got in the way and who he felt obligated to help. That meant he couldn't be a vampire, didn't it? He could still be an alien, though...

It didn't matter. She would lose her memories and would probably be locked up until whatever the hell they were doing was over. Then the rest of her memories would be taken and she would be left with a stretch of time she wouldn't remember and she would never know the love that she had felt. She wanted to curl up into a ball and die. She wanted to disappear. Anything but lose this love she felt inside her heart. Anything.

“There's one problem,” Deneb said. “Her thoughts... you know that they leave an imprint...”

“Yes.” Saiph's voice was monotone, almost like a robot. She wondered how his conscience was feeling. A part of her hoped it hurt like hell... the rest just... didn't hope much at all.

“Her impressions would leave her to completely distrust us.”

Saiph's tone changed to a mix between confusion and... irritation? Frustration? Something. “Why?”

“She...” Deneb hesitated again, but still she refused to look up. “She thinks we're vampires.”

That caused a silence that put the earlier silence to shame. “She thinks what?” Saiph said finally. Was his voice shaking slightly? Why?

“She thinks we're vampires.”

Well, obviously, she thought, she was wrong. Scratch that one. Aliens, then? She had yet to hear a complaint about that one. If they were aliens, though, then they certainly had done a lot of information on the humans here to know the myth about vampires. She wondered just how off she was on all this. She wondered how many hours she'd put into wondering this week.

“How... did she get to that?”

“I wouldn't have thought anything but the truth if you just told it to me,” she said quietly, cutting into their little conversation. For now, she was still here, and damned if she'd let them act otherwise.

They both turned to her. “What?” Saiph said stupidly.

“You heard me,” she said shortly. “I... I'm human. I can't help but be confused as to just what the hell you all are. Vampires seemed reasonable with the information I had on hand.” She bit her lip, but decided she was already hip-deep and just bulldozed in. “I... I don't care what you are. But you've left me with nothing! I have no idea what is going on, or why I'm trapped here. I don't know who it is you're fighting and I don't know why. I want to understand... I want to be able to help. But you won't let me do anything! I might as well be a prisoner here!” She found herself really getting involved in her words and fought for control. Man, was she ever tired.

Saiph and Deneb both looked... fairly stricken. She looked back down to the floor. Was that a piece of lint? She focused on it as if it may contain the wisdom of the ages. It was kind of s-shaped, and...

“Ara,” Saiph breathed, “you are not a prisoner.”

“Then what am I?” she asked bitterly. “Tell me that.”

There was no answer.

She turned her head to the wall to her left, tired of watching the piece of lint and tired of... all of this. “If you're going to erase my memories, just do it,” she told them finally. “I've... waited long enough.” She'd waited so long... for so many things. She was so tired of waiting... for acknowledgment from these people. She was just... so tired.

That silence was back, the one that made her want to try to cut noodles in the air and see if she could make a soup with all the tense clouds of friction swirling in the room. She felt it weigh her down and struggled to stay sitting up. How could having him look through her mind leave her this tired? Did this just happen to her or had it happened to Saiph, as well?

Didn't matter, she told herself once again. She would soon forget it all, anyway. Would she be made a full prisoner here? What would become of her?

“You... say that you believe that we're vampires,” Saiph managed to say after quite a few minutes. “Yet you stay here. Is that... because you believe us to be keeping you prisoner?”

“I told you,” she said, and she wanted to sound stern but instead she only sounded... tired. Damn that word; it seemed to be creeping itself into every little thing that was happening around her. “I don't care,” she finished. “If you're vampires... then you 're vampires. That's it. If you try to feed on me, that's another matter, but... well, it doesn't matter, does it? You seem horrified by the concept. I was wrong... and I won't have the chance to try to figure out what you are again. Should I apologize for the trouble I've caused you?” ...Damn. She hadn't meant to say that last one aloud. She better not spit out a lot more like that, or else she was really screwed.

And there was that damn silence again. That was getting old.

She kept her eyes firmly fixed on that wall (where was that light coming from?) and focused on sounding stronger than she had recently. “Look, I'm a little tired here. Just hurry up and do this, okay?”

“Ara, I-” Deneb started.

“Deneb,” she snapped, then controlled her voice and allowed it to gentle. The guy really was too kind-hearted to yell at. She could imagine him standing there, wringing his hands and giving her that soul-wrenched gaze. She almost sighed. “I... won't fight you this time.” What was the point? He could do it to her if she wanted him to or not. Saiph would probably give the order to. That realization... hurt. A lot. She tried not to focus on it; she didn't want that hurt filtering into her voice. “I... a part of me understands. I'm a liability... that was proven when I left this base. Telling me what you are... if the enemy doesn't know, then they could learn through me.”

If anything, the tension in the room only rose. “No...” Deneb murmured. “The enemy knows what we are.”

Okay then... she had no earthly clue as to why they were keeping their identities a secret. “Then, what, you just don't want me to figure it out?” Damn that bitterness for seeping through again!

“We have orders...” Deneb started.

“Orders? From who? Who the hell told you not to tell me anything?”

“Not just you,” Deneb argued. “Every... human...” He dropped off, realizing that he was saying something that could be incriminating.

“Oh, whatever,” she growled. “You're going to make me forget anyway, right? Say what you will. Have fun. Confuse the hell out of me if you want. Run your little story into little circles until my brain passes out from exhaustion. Been there, done that.” She gave up trying to fight that bitterness. Let it come into her voice; she didn't care. She was tired of being kind to these people and getting nothing in return. Oh, they fed her... clothed her, even... but damn if they told her anything! “Say what you want! Speculation is all I'll be able to do... and I won't even be able to do that for much longer. So go ahead... I most likely won't figure you out any time soon.”

“Ara...” Deneb breathed. She refused to look. She didn't want to feel sorry for him. She wanted to hurt without feeling like maybe she was being selfish for hurting. She didn't want to question anymore. She wanted the truth. Why was that so difficult for them to give?

“Am I being selfish for wanting to know what's going on?” ...Oh, no. She spoke out loud again. She wondered when this little habit was picked up.

“No.” This from Saiph, who had been very quiet for a while. “No, Ara, you aren't being selfish. Maybe... we are, in continuing to hide from you. You're right... right now, you are more of a prisoner here... even if you are learning hand-to-hand combat with Baham.” That made Saiph sound a little amused. She didn't want him to sound amused, because it made her want to smile.

But she was surprised. She didn't expect to hear him say that he agreed with her. She hadn't expected him to say much of anything other than 'that's it; take her memories'. She was... shocked. And damn her to hell, but she was hopeful, too.

Deneb spoke next; she wasn't going to speak any time soon. She'd said enough, after all, and speaking on it more would be both pointless and dangerous. “Saiph, what should we do?”

Yeah, Saiph, she wanted to ask. Just what the hell are you going to do with me?

Saiph's legs suddenly came into her vision. She tried to ignore it; she didn't want to see anything right now. But Saiph's thumb and first finger touched her chin and she started in surprise. He gently led her gaze to him. His eyes... were sadder than Deneb's had been, warm and concerned and... he looked so very, very sad. “Ara...” he whispered softly. “You're right... you should know-”

A loud siren sounded throughout the base, and Saiph was standing straight and running out of the room. “Stay here!” he called back, then disappeared around the corner. Deneb quickly followed.

“Bullshit,” she said and stood. She had been training for this exact reason. There was no way she was sitting this one out when she could actually help. She raced out of her room as well and headed straight for the Pyxis.