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Chapter Five: The Order
“How does this work?”
Caius turned to Anakin's voice. The man was holding up a chained shirt. Caius examined it. “That top chain circles around
the neck. The second one snaps the front closed.”
Anakin turned the thing around to study it further. “It looks tight and uncomfortable.”
“It probably is.” Caius turned back to the row of shirts. He had no idea what Anakin liked to wear and was watching
the man to see what he looked at. But Anakin seemed more interested in finding out how things worked. Would he really have
to ask the man?
Caius was careful to keep his thoughts from circling around Anakin's trespass. Had it been something awful? Had he killed
people? Raped them? Had he murdered his wife and children like Hercules?
Caius didn't want to think of Anakin like that.
Besides, he'd said he'd gone against some man. Who? What was the man like? Why did the man... how did he... no. No thinking
about this.
“Anakin, I need to know what you would like to wear.”
Anakin looked at him in surprise. “I did not realize I was going to choose.”
“Of course you are,” Caius snapped. “How the hell do I know what you like?”
Anakin's eyes became even more confused for a moment before he smiled. “Thank you.”
Caius flushed. “Whatever,” he muttered. “I'm going to be over there-” he pointed “-reading the
books. Come get me when you're done. Oh, and...” Here he found himself flushing again. “Try to keep it under thirty
bucks, okay? I don't have that much money.” If he'd known he was going to have these sudden expenses, he wouldn't have
splurged on those canvases he'd gotten two weeks ago.
Anakin nodded gravely. “Of course.”
“All right then. I'll see you-”
“Caius.”
Caius turned back to Anakin. “Yeah?”
“I cannot lose sight of you for long.”
Caius closed his eyes, not knowing whether to be irritated or chagrined. “Right.”
“I apologize.”
“Yeah,” he muttered. “All right. What do you want to wear? I'll help you look.”
Anakin's tastes turned out to be fairly eclectic. If he was going to be wearing casual, he was going to do it with style.
He picked out short-sleeved sweaters, it being fall, and dark jeans. He picked out a long-sleeved shirt that, when tried on,
clung like a second skin. A similar shirt was found in a deep blue, another in a dark red. Then there was a shirt Anakin found,
black with silver lines that sparkled from the sleeves to the waist. They were heading up to the purchase counter when Caius
saw one more short-sleeved sweater.
“Hey – Anakin.” He found himself speaking before he knew his mouth was open. Anakin turned to him quizzically,
then retraced his steps to Caius' side. Caius' gaze was caught on a deep violet sweater. He turned to Anakin wordlessly.
Anakin, in turn, studied it for a moment. “May I ask why?”
Caius shuffled for a short minute before shaking his head. “Nothing,” he muttered.
Anakin studied him. “It reminded you of my eyes.”
Caius flinched; when said like that, it sounded... gay. “So what if it did?” he groused.
Anakin only smiled. “I like it. If you will allow me...?” He gestured toward the cashier, who was watching Caius
curiously.
Caius gestured dumbly, unable to speak. Anakin's smile never wavered as he turned to the cashier and waited as Caius mutely
went up beside him and laid his choices on the counter. He saw the woman stare at him as she rang up the clothes. She must
have caught him talking, presumably to himself. Caius blushed.
“That'll be $34.50,” the woman told him. She snatched the money from his hands and quickly rang it through. “Here
you go, sir.” She dropped the bags into his arms. “Have a nice day.”
It couldn't have been more obvious that she was disturbed by the psycho and wanted him safely gone. He was tempted to snap
at her, but reluctantly let it slide.
They headed out the doors and Caius started heading for the nearest Wal-Mart.
“Are we headed back to your house?” Anakin asked.
“No. We're stopping off at another store real quick to get the rest.”
“The rest?”
Oh, God, the man was going to make him say it. “You need... undergarments.”
Anakin digested that before chuckling. “All right.” A hand gently touched his shoulder. Caius tensed. “Thank
you, Caius.”
Uncomfortable – and only just then realizing that Anakin had just materialized to everyone around him, he slid away.
“It's nothing.” But the bags were heavy.
They walked in silence for a short second before Anakin spoke again. “Caius?”
“Yeah?”
“When will your father be home?”
“Late. He always works late.”
“Then why can I not help you carry those bags?”
Caius looked over at Anakin in surprise. “Umm, because people will stare?”
“Let them. You do not know them. Correct?”
Caius just nodded.
“Good. Then...?” Anakin held out his hand.
Caius had no idea why he blushed, but he gratefully let Anakin take some of his load.
<*>
They arrived back at the house shortly after five, their arms laden with items. Caius and Anakin trudged up the steps to Caius'
room. Caius immediately turned to his dresser and started shifting things around.
“Allow me.” Anakin gently moved Caius aside. “You should begin to work on your homework.”
Caius sighed, having already thought of the work ahead of him. “Yeah, all right.” He glared at his bookbag before
opening it.
Anakin seemed to study each and every piece of clothing. It made Caius nervous and interrupted his concentration. Anakin pulled
out a shirt, gently touching it. Was this perverted or what? “Um, Anakin?”
“Yes?”
“Uh, what are you doing?”
Anakin smiled softly. “These clothes are very soft. You must have had them for a while.”
Caius shrugged. Was that it? Was the man being... what? Weird? Astute? Something. “Uh, yeah. I haven't hit that great
a growth spurt.”
“Hm.” Anakin placed the shirt with the others that were stuffed on the left. Caius saw with relief that Anakin,
thought he'd seemed to be dallying, was done that part of the process. Anakin began grabbing the clothes they'd just bought.
“That should be washed,” Caius muttered.
“Hm? How do you do that?”
“Hold on, just let me... shit. If you want, I'll show you in just a bit.”
“All right.” Anakin went to sit next to him and looked over his shoulder. Caius felt the man's eyes on his paper,
then on him. He felt his stomach cramp and wondered why. “Do you need any help?” Anakin's breath was on his ear,
hot and moist. Caius felt a shiver race up his spine.
“N-No.”
“Understood.” And Anakin stood abruptly, pulling a book from beneath Caius' bed.
This time Caius shivered from the sudden cold.
Dammit, he was straight. Totally and completely straight. This was just ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. Was Anakin trying
to seduce him or something? That was ridiculous, too! Anakin was way older than him! Twenty-eight, wasn't it? Anakin may think
him attractive, but certainly he didn't think any inappropriate thoughts like that!
Did he?
Well, it didn't matter, anyway. He wasn't interested, so Anakin's interest was of no importance. After all, if Anakin tried
to push his position, Caius could just tell the man to stop. He would have no choice but to do as Caius said. He didn't like
how uneasy he felt about finding himself in that situation. He wanted to order Anakin not to ever try such a thing, but wasn't
that the same as telling the man to stop? He would have the power to make the man anything he wanted. Anakin could be his
slave-
No!
What a disgusting thought! Anakin was a man. He was supposed to have his free will! If Caius took that from him...
He shuddered.
“Caius? Are you well?”
Caius jerked. Anakin had moved closer to him, inspecting him for something. A fever? “I'm fine,” he muttered.
His initial reaction to tell Anakin to back off was smothered. It was hard to not tell the man what to do.
“You are troubled.”
Anakin had to stop being so astute, if only for Caius' continued sanity. “I'm fine,” he persisted.
“No,” he said softly. His hand reached out to touch.
Caius backed away from it. “No,” he said, then instantly regretted it. Anakin's hand immediately stopped mid-air.
“I-I'm sorry.” He wanted to tell the man to go far, far away. “I didn't mean to – um, do whatever.
It's okay. I... I take it back.” He didn't want Anakin touching him, though!
Anakin's hand moved again, but this time he only placed it back at his side. “I am the cause, I take it.”
Caius frowned. “No.” A blatant lie. “It has nothing to do with you.”
Anakin's violet eyes pierced him. “You are lying,” he reprimanded softly.
Caius scowled. “It doesn't.” But he sounded a bit too petulant for his liking. “It has nothing to-”
He stopped abruptly when Anakin moved closer.
“You are afraid, perhaps. Afraid that you are interested in me.”
Actually, that hadn't been the last thing on his mind, though certainly he was confused about that, as well. Caius shook his
head. “No.” He had to whisper, or else he may order Anakin away. He didn't want Anakin gone, just... just further
away than he was right now, sitting solidly in front of him, their faces only a foot apart. Anakin was invading his personal
space. It was normal to feel apprehensive and aware of him at this point in time, wasn't it?
“No, you are not afraid, or no, you are not interested in me?”
“Both.” Caius' voice wasn't firm enough for his liking, either. He began to back away, wanting his space. “Look,
let's just-”
Anakin moved too fast for Caius to fully follow, too fast for Caius to react. Anakin's hand slipped out and snatched the back
of Caius' head, stopping him from retreating, then pulling him forward to meet Anakin in a kiss.
Caius managed one small strangled sound before their lips fully meshed together. Warm. Anakin's lips were warm. It was the
last thought that blipped into Caius' mind.
Anakin's mouth was already moving, opening on his while he sat stunned. They touched, slid, then finally gentled. It was lightning.
It was painful. It was fantastic. There weren't words for the jolts shooting through him. He felt himself begin melting with
the heat, but only distantly. He thought he groaned.
Anakin's lips fit perfectly on his, even as his hand still held Caius steady. Caius' arms were useless at his sides, but he
felt Anakin's other arm go around him to hold him up. He wasn't going to collapse, though. Was he?
But then Anakin's hands fell away and he leaned back, giving Caius space. Caius' eyes were still wide and staring blankly,
but now he could see Anakin's eyes in his vision. They were both confused and triumphant. His mouth was there, too, up in
a small smile, even as his eyes searched.
Caius' lips trembled. “I...” he sputtered. Then his mind snapped back into place with the force of a whip, bringing
him back to the present. He'd just been kissed by a guy! And completely without his permission! He lurched away from Anakin
with a snarl. “Damn you! Don't ever do that again! Do you hear me? Not ever!” He jumped up and ran for the door.
Anakin was there, though, grabbing his arm. He struggled to wrench it free. “Get off me! Let go! Don't touch me!”
Anakin's hand slipped away.
Caius raced for the door. When he heard footsteps following him, he turned. “Don't follow me! You hear? Stay here.”
He raced away while he still could. Nothing moved behind him.
He didn't grab anything as he ran out of the house, too desperate to get away, far away, to never have to look at Anakin or
think about his betrayal. He ran blindly, past the streets. He just ran and ran, an endless journey with no destination. Finally
his legs betrayed him as well and he collapsed to the ground. He cried out then, throwing his arms in front of him. He felt
his palms get scraped to hell as he landed.
He just stayed down for a moment, clenching and unclenching his fists. Kissed. Kissed, and by Anakin, who he had begun to
trust. How could a man so much older than him do that? Wasn't that... pedophilia? He had a pedophile in his house, stalking
him for a full year! What was he going to do? He never wanted to feel that again-
No. No, something inside him said. You very much want to feel that again.
No! He wasn't gay! He would never be gay! He was straight. That had been Anakin's doing, not his! He hadn't asked for it!
He struggled up, his body weary. His lungs were heaving, and sweat was pouring down him in tiny little rivers. He wiped his
forehead and sat down on his ass, right there in the middle of the road. There were no cars, though they would be coming soon.
It was time to get ready for dinner, after all.
Should he just let one hit him?
The thought came as a shockwave, punching him with such fury that he gasped. He hadn't thought like that since Anakin had
showed up. He hadn't once had to tell himself that his life wasn't that bad. With this particular suicidal plan, his usual
counter-argument was that it wasn't fair to the driver. He would hopefully be dead – well, that was another argument,
he supposed, that he had no certainty that he wouldn't be hurt instead of killed – but the driver would have to live
with the guilt.
He stood slowly, tired and reluctant. He had to get back to the house before his father got home. He would be in even bigger
trouble if he didn't.
He trooped back to the house with his back slightly bowed. It took him all of two minutes to realize he was alone on the streets.
It came back to him then, what he'd done. Three orders, and one of them would...
He felt pain squeeze his chest. “Anakin.” His voice was almost too low for him to hear. He threw his tired body
into a run, praying he got there before something horrible happened.
<*>
He could hear the screaming before he even entered the house. On the sidewalk now as a couple cars passed him, he raced up
the driveway to the walk, then to the porch. He hadn't locked the door when he left, so he was able to slam it open and race
up the steps.
“Anakin!” he shouted. “You can move – you can-”
He slammed his door open and stopped in horror. Anakin was still standing just where Caius had left him, but his manacles
were bright red and glowing and there was blood. It came from beneath his collar, as well, pooling disgustingly at his feet.
And there was a pool. Anakin's scream suddenly shut off like a switch had been thrown. His eyes were a pained amethyst, tired
and glazed as they took in Caius' sudden reappearance.
Caius let out a pained cry and threw himself toward Anakin. Anakin's arms stayed at his sides, but Caius' wound around him.
Anakin stumbled for a moment, then carefully led them away from the blood before bending down to sit on the floor. “I'm
sorry,” Caius said. He felt the tears on his face, but they didn't matter. “I'm so sorry. I hurt you. I...”
“Shh.”
Caius' arms clenched around Anakin even tighter. “I'm so...” But he couldn't finish, he was crying so hard.
“Shh. I have suffered worse.”
“But...” You were screaming, and I could hear your anguish on the streets. “I'm sorry. I take it back. Do
whatever you want. I swear, I don't care. I just... I didn't... please.” He tugged on Anakin's shoulders. “Please...”
he blushed, but he needed it too much, “hold me?”
“Of course,” Anakin sighed, and his arms gently wrapped around Caius' shuddering body. Anakin buried his face
in Caius' hair, even as Caius pulled Anakin forward, resting his head in Anakin's strong chest.
“I'm sorry,” he repeated, over and over again like a mantra. “I'm so sorry, Anakin.”
“Shh, I know. I pushed, and you pushed back. It is no more than I should have expected.”
Meaning, of course, that he hadn't expected it. Because he'd trusted Caius to not use his power over Anakin. But he had. He
had, and Anakin had suffered for it. Ultimate power over another being.
“I don't want this,” he cried. “I don't want this power.”
“I know. I know, little one.”
“I don't want to hurt you again.” Caius' hands clenched. “I don't... even if you...”
“I will not do it again. Or should I say I cannot?”
Caius gasped. “No – no, another order. I...” He hesitated, then cursed himself. He'd done enough with his
selfishness, hadn't he? “You can... anything... I won't tell you what you can and can't do! I won't do that! I won't,
I won't, I won't!” He emphasized his vow with a furious shake of his head.
Anakin was silent for a time. “That is what you were fighting with, then.”
“I'm sorry,” he said again. “I'm sorr-”
“No, no. Worry not. I am fine. The wounds are-”
“Oh, God, your wounds.” Caius snapped away from Anakin. Anakin's arms hesitated before falling. Caius winced inwardly,
knowing Anakin was being cautious now. As well he should, he thought bitterly. After all, he'd been tortured by a little kid
throwing a temper tantrum. “Come on, let's get you treated.”
Anakin let himself be led to the bathroom and sat complacently on the toilet. When Caius cast a guilty glance at him, he seemed
too absorbed in thought to notice.
Caius grabbed a clean washcloth and wet it, deftly ringing it out. He was used to this for his own wounds, but... but Anakin's
were far worse. He didn't know what to do in situations like this.
He knelt in front of Anakin and looked up, carefully taking Anakin's hand as one might a porcelain doll. The skin was red
and swollen around the manacles. And bloody. Very bloody. Caius' hand trembled as it traced the wounds. His vision blurred
once more.
“I am not so greatly injured. It is merely the punishment of being away from you for too long. I am to stay by your
side at all times.”
“But I ordered you away,” Caius whispered brokenly.
“Yes. A punishment order.” Caius flinched violently. “I overstepped the line, and so am to be punished for
it. Caius, this is how things should be. I am your servant for this year. If you feel I need to be punished-”
“I didn't even think about it. I didn't even... I just wanted some time alone. I didn't...” The tears fell again
without his permission. “I didn't want you hurt.”
“But you were angry with me, and upset. Your orders were understandable-”
“Please, don't.” Caius still held Anakin's hand, but he couldn't see well enough to do anything. He bit his lip
to try to get himself under control. “This is all my fault. I should have never...” Been born. But he didn't want
to think like that. Carefully he placed the washcloth back on Anakin's wrist. The manacles didn't move, so he couldn't access
the skin underneath. But he would do everything he could.
“Caius.”
Caius only shook his head and turned to the next wrist. He barely touched it before stumbling to his feet and rinsing out
the washcloth. He returned, carefully avoiding Anakin's burning gaze.
At least... at least those eyes weren't glazed anymore. Right?
He peeked a look to be sure and found himself caught in Anakin's stare. Those violet eyes were as piercing as ever, as strong
as before things had fallen apart. Caius couldn't look away. They weren't glazed. That was plain. But he couldn't forget the
look, the dead defeat... he shivered and looked quickly away again.
He cleaned the other wrist and then returned to the sink once more. The pink water sluiced down the drainer. He watched Anakin's
life force slip away from him. He wished he could stop trembling so that he could actually help.
He turned back to Anakin, his eyes cast down. He stood before the taller man, trying to figure out how to make this work.
He had to get to the neck, but that would put them into close proximity. Your fault, he reminded himself. Take the consequences.
He stepped forward and straddled Anakin's legs, sitting on Anakin's lap. They faced one another. Caius blushed. “I...
lean...” He struggled to speak without giving any sort of order.
Anakin nodded and leaned his head back, giving Caius access to his throat.
Caius shifted forward, then hesitated. Why did Anakin's throat look so appealing, even as it was covered in blood? It was
so firm and... Caius stopped his thoughts right there. No. No weird thoughts! He was straight – that was why he'd been
so furious with Anakin in the first place!
Wasn't it?
He carefully dabbed at Anakin's throat. “Does... does this hurt?”
“No,” Anakin murmured. “It feels very good.”
Caius bit his lip again. His fault. His fault Anakin was hurting like this. He...
He reached behind Anakin to get the back as well, leaning even further in. Anakin helpfully pulled his head in to give Caius
an easier reach, but in return Anakin's head rested on Caius' collarbone. Caius felt Anakin rest his forehead on him and pulled
back a grimace of anguish. Anakin was tired and hurting. Because of him. He took his time cleaning, trying to get as much
blood off as possible. “I think we have ointment for this.”
“Do not bother. The wounds have already healed.”
“They have?” Caius pulled back, perplexed. “How?”
“You have forgiven me and returned. As long as I am within your sight and following your orders without attempting to
fight, I will be physically well.”
Caius frowned. “I... I'm so sorr-”
“Hush. I am fine.”
Caius scowled. “I hurt you.”
“And I you.”
Caius shook his head adamantly. “S'not the same thing. I... I ordered you... to stay back, and I hurt you.”
Anakin reached up and touched Caius' hair. On his face rested a small smile. “You are such a kind person. It is no wonder
that your heart is torn by others.”
Caius flinched, then outright jumped when the downstairs door opened. “Shit!” he hissed. “Father's back!”
Anakin stood. “Shall we return to your room?”
Caius nodded and opened the door to leave, but then he stopped and turned. The washcloth. “You go,” he hissed,
then froze as Anakin began walking away. “I mean... if you want... just...” His hands fluttered for a moment.
“Nevermind. I don't want you...”
Anakin strode toward Caius. “Do not be afraid,” he murmured. “I am not leaving you.”
“Because you don't have a choice,” Caius muttered, but he didn't have time to argue. He grabbed the washcloth,
abandoned by the toilet, and raced into his room. He threw the dirty cloth in his laundry bin and snatched up his long-abandoned
homework. He had hardly picked up his pencil then he heard the tell-tale pounding of footsteps.
“Hey! Eunuch! You up here?”
Caius was already stressed. Dealing with his father would tax the last of his strength. “Yes, father.”
“You haven't gotten food on the stove yet, boy! Get down here!”
Caius put his pencil down and stood. His father came to the top of the stairs then, glaring down the hall to Caius. Anakin,
having followed on his heels, stood beside Caius and glared heatedly at his father. Caius felt another wave of self-hatred.
The person who had stood up for him had been tortured for his trouble. His shoulders drooped with the weight of the guilt.
“Get going, no-balls.”
Caius got going. Anakin followed by his side, but Caius couldn't look up from the ground. Isn't this how he should be treated?
The filth that he was. He couldn't bear to look at Anakin. The man had put a move on him, but nothing deserved the cruelty
Caius had shown him. Anakin's offense deserved nothing more than one poorly-aimed punch and a day or two of the silent treatment.
What he'd gotten was-
“BOY!”
Caius turned just in time to catch his father's fist with his face. He fell to the ground with a harsh thump.
“Caius!”
“Boy, what the hell is this?!”
Caius followed the line of his father's arm to see the blood on his carpet. Could his father see that? Apparently. “I-I'm
sorry,” he stammered, but he knew it wouldn't help him. He turned to Anakin, who looked ready to step in front of him.
Again. He felt the damn tears in his eyes. He couldn't look at the man as he did just what he'd sworn to never do again. He
closed his eyes and let out an anguished whisper.
“Stay back and don't interfere.”
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