Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine. Duh.
It was too late.
Regrets were stupid. Regrets were useless no matter what, but this time... this time, regrets would do nothing more than make
me have a horrible last minute. Minutes? However long it took...
I leaned my head back. Such a fluffy pillow. Funny how the tiny things were making themselves known now. Quatre's smile. Heero's-
No. No more on that.
It wasn't because of him. I wouldn't lay this on his door. He'd chosen Trowa, and I couldn't hate him for it. He was... happy.
His eyes lit when Trowa entered the room. That joy... I could never hate that.
No. I hated myself... for not being able to put it there. And worse... for never getting over him.
I'd placed a note on the door, warning them to just call the police. No point in calling the hospital. Call the police,
and don't open the door. Leave the house. That's what it said.
A suicide note? Maybe that was a good idea... but my arms wouldn't move anymore.
Poor Quatre. He was in the same boat... but no, that wasn't quite true. Quatre had found... what was his name? Hell, I couldn't
remember. And Wufei, of course. With Zechs. I almost smiled. What an unlikely pair.
Nope. This was on me... Heero-
I winced at the thought of his name.
The poison was soothing. A careful concoction, one I'd mastered though I'd never had a use for it in the war. Stupid, huh?
That I was now using it for the first time, during peace. When everyone around me was happy.
Well, I'd lived through the battles for them. The least they could do was let me... let me take away my own pain. This was
what I wanted. What I'd dreamed of.
Then I heard the car.
I stumbled up from my bed, sweat immediately breaking across my skin. Shit, shit, shit. They couldn't... not yet.
The door opened, and I could hear them laughing. They must have brought some of the pizza back with them, because I heard
the sound of cardboard being placed on a surface.
“Hey, Duo! You okay? We brought some pizza back!” Quatre called.
I struggled to the door, making sure it was locked. It was. “No thanks,” I called. My voice was hoarse, unsteady.
Dry, cracked, weak. I hoped it would help the 'sick' theory. I prayed they wouldn't come to see the door. They all had the
ability to bust it down. Shit. They came back early. What the hell happened to the movie they were planning to attend? Stupid
I dragged myself back, leaning weakly against the wall. Shit.
Shit! Quatre's voice was getting closer.
I rushed to the door, unlocking it and snatching the note, crumpling it in my hand. Carefully I threw it behind me. Quatre
entered my view from the top of the stairs and immediately looked at me. I knew I had to look a mess – hair askew, face
ashen, cheeks red. Sweat waxed from every pore. My hands were shaking almost as bad as my knees. Only a few minutes more,
and I would have been unconscious. Maybe it was good they came now. If they thought I was sleeping...
But... the guilt... as they belatedly realized what I'd done, that it had happened right under their noses. Despite
myself, I felt regret and pain lance through me. I would hurt them.
Was it so very selfish... to want to die?
“Quatre,” I gasped.
“Duo!” Quatre raced across the short hallway. He propped me against him, his eyes stained with concern. He turned
to the stairs. “Someone help!”
The laughter died immediately. Footsteps raced up. I think I groaned.
“Hold on, Duo,” Quatre said tightly.
“No,” I whispered. Even if I wanted to... I didn't think I could.
“Duo, I mean it! Hold on!”
“Quatre! What's wrong?” Wufei's voice was the first. I could smell him as he came closer. The scent of almonds.
It was only then that I realized that my eyes had closed. I hadn't told them to. “Duo!”
“Help me carry him downstairs,” Quatre ordered. His voice was strained. “Something's wrong.”
Wordlessly Wufei helped lift me. I couldn't control my body any longer. If I was alone, I would be reveling in the darkness.
Now it only scared me.
“Duo?” Heero's voice was tight. I felt the pain rip through me, as always. His fear was for a friend, the same
concern that Wufei and Quatre showed. Trowa, I heard, gasped.
“Quatre, what's going on?”
“I don't know,” Quatre grunted. I felt more hands, then a softness. Cushions? Couch? Couch.
“Duo? Duo, can you hear me?”
Heero's voice again. I winced.
“Duo? What's wrong?”
I wouldn't tell them, even if I could. The darkness shifted in closer. I welcomed it, even as those around me grew panicked.
“Duo, answer us!” Wufei shouted.
I couldn't. My lips were numb.
“Something's wrong,” Quatre whispered again. I felt some sort of bodily warmth around me, then a steady inhale.
The body stiffened. “Heero.” Quatre's voice was breathy and suddenly very, very afraid.
He smelled the poison.
Heero's warmth enveloped me. The pain wrapped around me tighter, choking me. I couldn't breathe.
“Poison,” he whispered.
There was a collective gasp.
Quatre's hands were on me then. “Duo! Duo, don't you dare do this to us!”
Tears. Even now I could hear them. I felt like I ought to apologize.
“The ambulance is on its way.” Zechs' voice. It was grim. He knew it would be too late.
“No!” Quatre sobbed. “Marcus...”
Ah, yes. That was the name. Some guy from Trowa's circus.
Heero's voice, deep with panic.
I slipped into the darkness, my whole being in absolute agony. This would be no restful sleep.
Return to Gundam Wing Fanfiction